while im making the art in the EP I kinda feel myself
While I was making this project I was going thru an annoying argument with my friend of 14 years. I kind of needed an exhale of emotions. Previously I have made music for others under the alias Oh2pz, but due to this very inconvenient argument I was going through I felt it was time for my own dialog to come through. some of these songs I started when I was a teenage others more recent, but the collection of emotions are real and tbh confused. And that's okey, sometimes you dont need to be a perfectly wrapped up concept album but instead just use music as a way to discover more about yourself. The truth, ugly, commercial truths.
I truly believe in saying the truth and this is my most truthful project yet drawing from my younger self; the naivety and angst. When friendships or relationships try to change you, you either submit or defy you cant just avoid. That's what I tried telling this friend of mine. Because we arnt 14 anymore, we're adults and probably should confront these things? He refuses and my frustration grows. I wonder if he is still avoiding these feelings and truths. Probably.
He didn't want me to change, develop
I change too much... that's true and maybe it's hard to keep up with my states of change but that's my existence. One day you love me for all my difference states, next it's the reason you hate me. Just because it scares others doesn't mean I should mute myself. If I say a stupid lyric it doesn't mean it isn't true I'm just exploring my anger, happiness and reality. He plays the same Radiohead chords over and over and claims it as his own. You don't know how to create and how to explore your truths because you don't confront them in the first place.
thats why you play those same chords...
I have changed a lot since I was a kid, and im not that person anymore but I accept my past and learn from it to enable myself to flourish in its future. Im sorry im not that boy anymore, im more than just a Boyadam.
<3
Boyadam